Friday, April 28, 2006
Thursday, April 27, 2006
Lessons of the Month:
Witty sayings don't solve everything.
I'm immature and serious at the same time.
The formula to find out how serious people judge you is (tilt of eyebrows+thickness of eyebrows+how often you smile)=seriousness rating of population. Yes, the "smile" part can also be a smirk.
CC is undecisive, and is liable to become the punching bag or puncher at all times.
Yahoo has terrible email storage organization. They can't even handle a hundred emails in a day. And in the same conversation! But yes, blame it all on the people who send the emails...
Never, ever, ruin your reputation. I don't know who I am now... ok, not that, but who I want to be. But there wasn't much of a rep in the first place...
Witty sayings don't solve everything.
I'm immature and serious at the same time.
The formula to find out how serious people judge you is (tilt of eyebrows+thickness of eyebrows+how often you smile)=seriousness rating of population. Yes, the "smile" part can also be a smirk.
CC is undecisive, and is liable to become the punching bag or puncher at all times.
Yahoo has terrible email storage organization. They can't even handle a hundred emails in a day. And in the same conversation! But yes, blame it all on the people who send the emails...
Never, ever, ruin your reputation. I don't know who I am now... ok, not that, but who I want to be. But there wasn't much of a rep in the first place...
All of my quotes saved in my "Draft" section of Gmail. It's a long list.
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams
At least two-thirds of our miseries spring from human stupidity, human malice and those great motivators and justifiers of malice and stupidity: idealism, dogmatism and proselytizing zeal on behalf of religous or political ideas. - Aldous Huxley
Preserving health by too severe a rule is a worrisome malady. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld
God help those who do not help themselves. - Wilson Mizner
If we were to wake up some morning and find that everyone was the same race, creed and color, we would find some other cause for prejudice by noon. - George Aiken
We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
Buck Henry
http://www.quotationspage.com/search.php3?Search=&startsearch=Search&Author=The+Hitchhiker%27s+Guide+to+the+Galaxy+&C=mgm&C=motivate&C=classic&C=coles&C=poorc&C=lindsly&C=net
Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood. - HL Mencken
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be. - Kurt Vonnegut
Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness. - Bertrand Russell
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. - HP Lovecraft
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.) - Ambrose Bierce
Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. - WH Auden
"The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible than the bore." - Samuel Butler
"Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it." - Laurence J. Peter
"We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for." - Marie Ebner von Eschenbach
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." - Dan Quayle
"Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content." - Louis L'Amour
"The truth is more important than the facts." - Frank Lloyd Wright
"Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see." - Arthur Schopenhauer
"It is nobler to declare oneself wrong than to insist on being right - especially when one is right." - Friedrich Nietzsche
"Actions lie louder than words." - Carolyn Wells
Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so too.
Voltaire
Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need.
Voltaire
The secret of being boring is to say everything.
Voltaire
Prejudice is opinion without judgement.
Voltaire
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Voltaire
Every man is guilty of all the good he didn't do.
Voltaire
Anything too stupid to be said is sung.
Voltaire
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?'
Steven Wright (1955 - )
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.
Iris Murdoch (1919 - 1999)
"The multitude of books is making us ignorant." - Voltaire
"But what is the difference between literature and journalism?/ ...Journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. That is all." - Oscar Wilde
"Never eat more than you can lift." - Miss Piggy
"One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man." - Elbert Hubbard
"Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, dont put it off." - Ellen DeGeneres
"If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time." - Edith Wharton
"A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures." - Daniel Webster
"A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people." - Thomas Mann
"All phone calls are obscene." - Karen Elizabeth Gordon
"The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand things well." - Horace Walpole
"The reserve of modern assertions is sometimes pushed to extremes, in which the fear of being contradicted leads the writer to strip himself of almost all sense and meaning." - Sir Winston Churchill
"Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water." - WC Fields
"I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on." - Beryl Pfizer
What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left." - Oscar Levant
"Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense." - Gertrude Stein
"Bureaucrats write memoranda both because they appear to be busy when they are writing and because the memos, once written, immediately become proof that they were busy." - Charles Peters
"History is the short trudge from Adam to atom." - Leonard Louis Levinson
"There are sadistic scientists who hurry to hunt down errors instead of establishing the truth." - Marie Curie
Mother Teresa - "Peace begins with a smile."
"My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's." - Oscar Wilde
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it. Voltaire
This world is but a canvas to our imagination. Henry David Thoreau
"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better." - Anonymous
"I have lost friends, some by death... others through sheer inability to cross the street." - Virginia Woolf
"Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century." - Dame Edna Everage
The only really happy folk are married women and single men. H. L. Mencken
"The intelligent man is one who has successfully fulfilled many accomplishments, and is yet willing to learn more." - Ed Parker
"Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful." - Samuel Johnson
"I hate music, especially when it's played." - Jimmy Durante
"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" - Woody Allen
"There is no abstract art. You must always start with something. Afterward you can remove all traces of reality." - Pablo Picasso
"I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'" - Jay Leno
"Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing." - Randy K. Milholland
Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. Luis Bunuel
Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. - Ambrose Bierce
The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal. - HL Mencken
I despise the pleasure of pleasing people that I despise. - Lady Mary Wortley Montagu
The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'. - Larry Hardiman
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. - Jean-Paul Sartre
In my many years I have come to a conclusion that one useless man is a shame, two is a law firm, and three or more is a congress. - John Adams
At least two-thirds of our miseries spring from human stupidity, human malice and those great motivators and justifiers of malice and stupidity: idealism, dogmatism and proselytizing zeal on behalf of religous or political ideas. - Aldous Huxley
Preserving health by too severe a rule is a worrisome malady. - Francois de La Rochefoucauld
God help those who do not help themselves. - Wilson Mizner
If we were to wake up some morning and find that everyone was the same race, creed and color, we would find some other cause for prejudice by noon. - George Aiken
We need a president who's fluent in at least one language.
Buck Henry
http://www.quotationspage.com/search.php3?Search=&startsearch=Search&Author=The+Hitchhiker%27s+Guide+to+the+Galaxy+&C=mgm&C=motivate&C=classic&C=coles&C=poorc&C=lindsly&C=net
Any man who afflicts the human race with ideas must be prepared to see them misunderstood. - HL Mencken
We are what we pretend to be, so we must be careful what we pretend to be. - Kurt Vonnegut
Of all forms of caution, caution in love is perhaps the most fatal to true happiness. - Bertrand Russell
A door is what a dog is perpetually on the wrong side of. - Ogden Nash
The most merciful thing in the world, I think, is the inability of the human mind to correlate all its contents. - HP Lovecraft
Cogito cogito ergo cogito sum (I think that I think, therefore I think that I am.) - Ambrose Bierce
Among those whom I like or admire, I can find no common denominator, but among those whom I love, I can: all of them make me laugh. - WH Auden
"The man who lets himself be bored is even more contemptible than the bore." - Samuel Butler
"Originality is the fine art of remembering what you hear but forgetting where you heard it." - Laurence J. Peter
"We are so vain that we even care for the opinion of those we don't care for." - Marie Ebner von Eschenbach
"I stand by all the misstatements that I've made." - Dan Quayle
"Nobody got anywhere in the world by simply being content." - Louis L'Amour
"The truth is more important than the facts." - Frank Lloyd Wright
"Talent hits a target no one else can hit; Genius hits a target no one else can see." - Arthur Schopenhauer
"It is nobler to declare oneself wrong than to insist on being right - especially when one is right." - Friedrich Nietzsche
"Actions lie louder than words." - Carolyn Wells
Think for yourselves and let others enjoy the privilege to do so too.
Voltaire
Work saves us from three great evils: boredom, vice and need.
Voltaire
The secret of being boring is to say everything.
Voltaire
Prejudice is opinion without judgement.
Voltaire
It is dangerous to be right when the government is wrong.
Voltaire
Every man is guilty of all the good he didn't do.
Voltaire
Anything too stupid to be said is sung.
Voltaire
Last night somebody broke into my apartment and replaced everything with exact duplicates... When I pointed it out to my roommate, he said, 'Do I know you?'
Steven Wright (1955 - )
There's no trick to being a humorist when you have the whole government working for you.
Will Rogers (1879 - 1935)
Love is the difficult realization that something other than oneself is real.
Iris Murdoch (1919 - 1999)
"The multitude of books is making us ignorant." - Voltaire
"But what is the difference between literature and journalism?/ ...Journalism is unreadable and literature is not read. That is all." - Oscar Wilde
"Never eat more than you can lift." - Miss Piggy
"One machine can do the work of fifty ordinary men. No machine can do the work of one extraordinary man." - Elbert Hubbard
"Procrastination isn't the problem, it's the solution. So procrastinate now, dont put it off." - Ellen DeGeneres
"If only we'd stop trying to be happy we could have a pretty good time." - Edith Wharton
"A strong conviction that something must be done is the parent of many bad measures." - Daniel Webster
"A writer is a person for whom writing is more difficult than it is for other people." - Thomas Mann
"All phone calls are obscene." - Karen Elizabeth Gordon
"The whole secret of life is to be interested in one thing profoundly and in a thousand things well." - Horace Walpole
"The reserve of modern assertions is sometimes pushed to extremes, in which the fear of being contradicted leads the writer to strip himself of almost all sense and meaning." - Sir Winston Churchill
"Reminds me of my safari in Africa. Somebody forgot the corkscrew and for several days we had to live on nothing but food and water." - WC Fields
"I write down everything I want to remember. That way, instead of spending a lot of time trying to remember what it is I wrote down, I spend the time looking for the paper I wrote it down on." - Beryl Pfizer
What the world needs is more geniuses with humility, there are so few of us left." - Oscar Levant
"Everybody gets so much information all day long that they lose their common sense." - Gertrude Stein
"Bureaucrats write memoranda both because they appear to be busy when they are writing and because the memos, once written, immediately become proof that they were busy." - Charles Peters
"History is the short trudge from Adam to atom." - Leonard Louis Levinson
"There are sadistic scientists who hurry to hunt down errors instead of establishing the truth." - Marie Curie
Mother Teresa - "Peace begins with a smile."
"My own business always bores me to death; I prefer other people's." - Oscar Wilde
I may disagree with what you have to say, but I shall defend, to the death, your right to say it. Voltaire
This world is but a canvas to our imagination. Henry David Thoreau
"Nobody knows the age of the human race, but everybody agrees that it is old enough to know better." - Anonymous
"I have lost friends, some by death... others through sheer inability to cross the street." - Virginia Woolf
"Never be afraid to laugh at yourself, after all, you could be missing out on the joke of the century." - Dame Edna Everage
The only really happy folk are married women and single men. H. L. Mencken
"The intelligent man is one who has successfully fulfilled many accomplishments, and is yet willing to learn more." - Ed Parker
"Integrity without knowledge is weak and useless, and knowledge without integrity is dangerous and dreadful." - Samuel Johnson
"I hate music, especially when it's played." - Jimmy Durante
"There are worse things in life than death. Have you ever spent an evening with an insurance salesman?" - Woody Allen
"There is no abstract art. You must always start with something. Afterward you can remove all traces of reality." - Pablo Picasso
"I went into a McDonald's yesterday and said, 'I'd like some fries.' The girl at the counter said, 'Would you like some fries with that?'" - Jay Leno
"Typos are very important to all written form. It gives the reader something to look for so they aren't distracted by the total lack of content in your writing." - Randy K. Milholland
Age is something that doesn't matter, unless you are a cheese. Luis Bunuel
Painting: The art of protecting flat surfaces from the weather and exposing them to the critic. - Ambrose Bierce
The capacity of human beings to bore one another seems to be vastly greater than that of any other animal. - HL Mencken
I despise the pleasure of pleasing people that I despise. - Lady Mary Wortley Montagu
The word 'politics' is derived from the word 'poly', meaning 'many', and the word 'ticks', meaning 'blood sucking parasites'. - Larry Hardiman
Three o'clock is always too late or too early for anything you want to do. - Jean-Paul Sartre
Sunday, April 23, 2006
http://video.google.com/videoplay?docid=6176491654107670145&pl=true
wackywarnings.com
Will put more up soon. Do not ask how soon "soon" is. In a nutshell, these are purely for your entertainment and time wasting. This is not my career.
wackywarnings.com
Will put more up soon. Do not ask how soon "soon" is. In a nutshell, these are purely for your entertainment and time wasting. This is not my career.
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